So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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