I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
