the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Randomize
