my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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