Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
