Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
