i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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