Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
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