That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
he shaved USA in his pubs
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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