He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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