For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
