To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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