You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
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