i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
