honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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