If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
