So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
