its not stalking. its research.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
