never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
