After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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