It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Randomize
