Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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