i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
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