I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
