i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Randomize
