I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Randomize