I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
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