I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize
