Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
