You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
