I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
