Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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