Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
