I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
