You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
