Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
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