my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
