So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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