I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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