We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Randomize
