Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
