no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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