well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
