I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
