I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
