ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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