I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
