i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
