if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I'm both gender and math confused
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
