I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
wat bout pragnant strippers??
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
