hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I need water and some morals
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Randomize
