yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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