I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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