Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I'm getting married
To pizza
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
