Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
