haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
