I think I am morally bankrupt
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
