this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
